EVOLUTION OF A SCHOLAR

The PRIMAL SCHOLAR feels compelled to IMMERSE IN whatever catches your attention/interest- doing anything you're drawn to that's unknown, experimenting with what's around you out of sheer curiosity, and subconsciously taking in everything that you can learn and experience from this physical plane.

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At first, you merely create assumptions about how the world around you works, believing and reinforcing your

-Theories and letting all your reactions and decisions be formed by this.

But eventually you experiment with your theories about life & see the actual ramifications of those ideas- gaining +Knowledge through the bizarre and exciting things, patterns and rituals you get incredibly obsessed with & compulsively fixated by.
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The ORDERLY SCHOLAR has lived a life of compulsive exploration+immersion, and now with the advent of civilization adds those experiences into the formal libraries and memory banks of your species- essentially allowing your ideas about nature to become doctrine.

Thus you begin to funnel your compulsion to immerse- into a familiar, acceptable and civil role that STUDIES and ARCHIVES the sacred laws and divine order of the world.

In -Theory then, you might presume your study is enough, and either create a life based around this only to realize it doesn't truly work in practice- or reject all else beyond your study to the point you live an incredibly isolated and conformist existence that drains your curiosity to know more.

But with time, you learn that diving into & experiencing a whole array of various roles, responsibilities, doctrines, traditions, environments etc. helps you discover the sacred truths of the world and +Know what you & all others are truly best at doing for your world/family/society.

This balance between familiarity and risk is how you build confidence and learn you matter.
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The INDIVIDUALIST SCHOLAR comes to realize that the world is full of way more stuff to explore & experiment with than you have ever been allowed. 

And thus begins your desire to HAVE EXPERIENCE on your own terms- to excitedly dive into or consume absolutely anything/anyone of interest.

At first, your idea of what experiences are worth it or valuable can keep you from fully immersing in life's wonderful and diverse opportunities.

Or you might eagerly indulge in everything superficially, thinking you know everything there is to know and later being proven wrong. Both of these simply keep you in -Theory.

However, once your passion for life is ignited, you actively experiment, explore, study and immerse in your chosen experiences and themes- learning, doing and having as much as you can from raw, hands-on living. 

And this becomes proof of your pursuit of independence, +Knowledge and life achievement.
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The RELATIONSHIP SCHOLAR must reconcile HAVING EXPERIENCE with BEING INTIMATE.
Over the course of your evolution, you now realize that your aim to experience, explore and experiment with things- often excludes, isolates and leaves others out from your personal inner world that works to process & make sense of all of that information.
This is because you always aim to have as pure/clean an experience as you can & emotions, complex people and other intangibles have simply muddled that effort to objectively understand.

But now you can no longer shove them aside as you see you're left with -Theories that can only speculate what concepts like love, intimacy, unity and equality are & watch/mimic how they're displayed by others- but never prove/know they actually exist.

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As you go through this realization, you can easily find you dismiss any notion of intimacy that perplexes or threatens you- in favor of experiences, projects and studies you can prove/understand- even if this leaves you carrying a lot of pain & loneliness.

And every time you try to give/share intimately, you suddenly distrust, defend and recoil from it for how vulnerable, messy and sensitive it makes you feel compared to what you're used to- while also feeling confused, frustrated and lonely that you don't feel the same as others seem to about it.

Thus you struggle to connect, reach out, feel connected and embraced- finding common ground within experiences as a new concept you desire to +Know more about- and learning how to reconcile that your drive to have experience & need to be intimate are not mutually exclusive scenarios.
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The HOLISTIC SCHOLAR seeks to BE INTIMATE with yourself, others and your experiences.
In the previous awareness, you learnt that intimacy is a valid concept that does exist because it was proven to you externally through what others did/said & you realized that it's merely a deeper layer of experience just as real as observable reality.

But as you enter this new awareness, you start to feel like you're feigning intimacy just to have any human contact at all- or leaving others to nurture & sort out the details of that intimacy for you.

You feel you don't truly know it because the parts that create+fuel it seem so hidden and amorphous & this 

leaves you stuck in a loop of -Theories as your aim to embrace+love everyone/thing always returns you to this deep distrust, paradox and lack of certainty in what's true/real.

Eventually, you begin to comprehend the concept of TRUST- because you learn that it's not blind to trust- it's incredibly practical and sensible to rely upon your experiences in the past, to anticipate possibilities in the future that can help guide you through life's changes & take your next steps.
This then opens you up to every other thing you could never prove was real, because trust isn't something you can find externally, it's built and developed internally.

So you open up to concepts like Intimacy, Love and Emotion as being things that are born, developed, trusted and nurtured within you- and then shared with everyone else. 

And life starts to make sense again, because you learn how to embrace, like and +Know your self, values and feelings- so you can better embrace, like and know others valid inner lives too.