SELF-DESTRUCTION
Self-Destruction is a defense against Abundance or Having Too Much, because you're Worth Less.
It is about questioning how much worth, value or contribution you (or your body, emotions, thoughts, things etc.) have made, to the point it inhibits any enthusiasm & self-expression from that part of your life.
So you enforce a rigid value system onto everything you possess- determining you must somehow destroy or give away parts of yourself, because you don't deserve to have what you do.
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NEGATIVE SPECTRUM
In -Suicide, you prevent yourself from feeling any sense of life, worth or enjoyment from what you have- to create enough contrast that proves to everyone you don't deserve to live or have good things.
This then leads toward some kind of physical, emotional, mental or spiritual death- through suicide, suicide bombings or terminal illness in that facet of life.
Which results in a constant state of psychological damage and a hopeless deference to chronically destructive habits+addictions. (Such as self-harm, needless aggression, wasteful behaviors, mistreating & shutting out friends+family, backing out of opportunities, compulsive negative thinking etc.)
SLIDING
When you fall into -Suicide, -Voracity begins to set in; so not only do you consume the life from yourself+others, but nothing you have/get/take will ever satisfy you or prove you have enough worth.
To move into -Sacrifice, you'd benefit from allowing an -Appetite for something, anything that you enjoy, like or want- such as a good meal or a nice scenery. The point is that you let yourself HAVE it.
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Sacrifice can also arise in pushing through your fears with a -Determination that things can change- shifting away from becoming -Obstinate that you will always have too much, being over-valued and worth less.
POSITIVE SPECTRUM
In -Sacrifice, you give/get rid of something you have in exchange for some sense of worth in return.
This can be that you strive to achieve worth, but incessantly emphasize what prevents you from contributing; or your sacrifice shows in workaholism, savior complexes, self-sabotage etc.
CONTEXTS OF FEAR
When Self-Destruction protects the GOAL, you feel that your actions, successes and impact are not truly worthy, valuable or contributing to anything meaningful in your or others lives. For one reason or another, you truly feel that you don't matter in the world.
So instead of relishing in your achievements- you sabotage them, and avoid any sense of recognition, opportunities and happiness you might receive from the world for them.
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When it protects the MODE, your intimate relationships bring up feelings that something about you is inherently worthless and doesn't matter no matter what you do.
So you block off intimacy every time you remember you're worth less- by constantly pulling the rug out from under others who get close to you, just to show that to them. Or you feel you must sacrifice more and more to earn being with these people you're close to.
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When Self-Destruction is ingrained in your BODY, it means that you feel circumstances force you to suffocate your sense of happiness, expression and joy.
You feel that you must resign to your own body's, or someone else's needs, addictions and compulsions against your better wishes- sacrificing or putting down the desires of your mind and heart for the sake of someone/thing else.
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When it protects you from the PAST, your memories and history in general are worthless. You don't care for what has been, or feel you had so much in the past that was removed/sacrificed to the point that there's nothing of worth to gain from your nostalgia anyways.
Protecting you from the FUTURE, Self-Destruction deems that what could be will be worthless. The future has no meaning, and the value of what you imagine is stripped away because it's barely of any concern.
When Self-Destruction protects you from being PRESENT, you can't be conscious because this moment is worthless, or what you have right now is worthless. You have too much and are so preoccupied with destroying, sacrificing or getting rid of those things now, that you never see the value of allowing things to be here.
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If Self-Destruction is your CORE DEFENSE, then you feel you can't heal, evolve and be whole until you get rid of something you have/want less of. You will not move on until that over-abundance is gone & you and/or others accept
how much worth/value that thing doesn't have.
KEY TO HEALING
If you catch yourself in the defenses of Self-Destruction and wish to change this, the key to healing is to STOP IT,
allowing you/others to INTERVENE with that destructive pattern.
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Stop measuring your worth, meaning, value etc. using subjective, unchanging standards that you learnt from others around you. Those may be the value systems they have learnt to adhere by, but they don't have to be yours too- you have a choice in the value/meaning you see in yourself.
Know that your feelings about things you have are important to own, but also that they WILL PASS and are not the whole truth of you, life or the world. Nothing is static, all states do, have and will change.
You must let yourself HAVE something.
It is OK to like or not like something, to disagree or agree, to resonate or be repulsed; but let yourself have the feelings/thoughts you do, and move away from condemnation or praise based on how worthy/valuable you feel, act and think- to preferences based on who you authentically are.
You ARE worth it. It IS worth it. You are WORTH more. It helps then to discover yourself through experiences &
EXPLORE the spectrum of who you are, not what you're worth.